Please, it is someone else’s turn to blog!
For whatever reason, no one seems to have an interest it writing another blog. I wrote my last one, largely so I didn’t have to see my previous one. I am writing this one, for the same reason. With that kind of motivation, don’t have high expectations.I am wondering why the other admins, are not blogging, maybe, I should wonder, why any would want to! I asked that of George, when he created this blog feature. His basic response to me was that it was a way for Worthychatters to get to know the administrators here. Fair enough. Maybe that is a good idea, but it depends on a few things, in order to work. For it to work, three things have to happen.
1. An admin must write.
2. The chatters must read.
3. The admin must disclose things about themselves, or express thoughts, both, with honesty.
I plan on doing both in this writing. Don’t look for any organization or structure to this, I am just typing as the thoughts come, true blog style, and the most authentic Omegaman, no second draft. I usually have a lot of typos, I am going slowly to avoid those, so most errors will be a reflection of my spelling skills. If the are good, I am not giving credit to the public school system, but to my mom, for it was her guidance and care at home, that helped me learn. That is one of the reasons, we chose to home educate our children.
I think I want to write a bit, about what it is like, to be an administrator. I think I have talked about this before here, forgive me, if I am redundant.
I mentioned that the other admins do not seem to be doing this blogging thing lately. Some, never have. Their reasons are their own. I have some ideas about it. Some, probably forgot it exists (the blog). Some do not feel they are writers, the came to the chatroom to chat. Those that have a propensity toward writing, often utilize the forums for that way of expression. Some are very private. Some, are willing to respond in dialogue, but do not care to initiate them. For them, this is worse, for it is more of a monologue. I am sure there are other reasons. Busyness, is a big one.
I am the type, that prefers to respond, not initiate dialogue. I am also very busy, or at least, I have a lot to do. I shouldn’t be here at all, ever, with all that is on my plate, not if I use worldly reason anyway. However, this is no ordinary chat. This is a Christian chat, a ministry, to stay away, might be to miss an opportunity to serve, or be served. I admit, I like it here, I want to be here.
When I first was drafted into the ministry as an admin, chat went from a joy for me, to a burden. That probably surprises many to hear, but I think many admins, understand. Suddenly, I had to be on my best behavior, something that should have been the case anyway. Suddenly it was not a recreation, it was a responsibility. The hardest thing for me at first, was that many people, look to and trust the admins, to be counselors and advisors. This is not visible so much to the casual chatter not paying close attention. We try to help. are willing to help, but we have no formal training for this, and all at once, find ourselves confided in. We sometimes here very private things, personal things, sensitive things. At first, when this happened, I was shocked to discover that many people here, have dark secrets. I have to admit, I found it saddening to learn certain things, about certain people. That`was the hardest part for me, as a new admin.
Even at my age, you can still mature. I matured a lot quickly. I am no longer shocked by what I hear. I cannot explain why, but it strikes me that a lot of people, feel safe with me. Maybe that is a misperception, but it is my perception. I listen, an I am blunt and honest, but I try to be gentle and encourageing, look for solutions instead of focusing on mistakes. Am I good at that? I don’t know. But I know I have enough of my own baggage, not to be too judgemental. Many things brought to me, I have already been through. Maybe that helps me see clearly and be empathetic, one can onlt hope.
As I adjusted to seeing the chat through admin eyes, the pleasure of being here, returned, but I want to address another thing that I have observed at Worthy - change. The ministry is not static, it is dynamic, it evolves ( I no that is a fightin’ word to some of you ). People get used to things, and when things change, some people do not like it. Feelings get hurt. I have seen it many times here at Worthy. An incident happens, or, a certain type of incident repeatedly happens, an inevitablty, changes are instituted to prevent a repeat. This often crushes spirits. Chatters leave, admins go into a funk. Those are trying times for the admins. It probably, sounds over dramatic, but it is very real, and enthusiasm is dampened, to say the least. Eventually, things blow over, but I am not sure, that there isn’t a residual effect.
Another thing that may have a residual effect - abusive language and demeanor. Admins have a hard job in some respects. It is not physically hard, but the emotional drain has physical effects. Not everyone is equally affected. I happen to be blessed with marvelously thick skin, insult me, call me names etc. and it just rolls off me. For some though, words are like little darts, tipped with poison. The dosage is not lethal, but it it has a real effect. Admins are in a position, where the are expected at times, to maintain order. People squabble here at times. Squabbling is a natural, human thing, it happens. Sometime though, it is about something very petty, or very debatable, but individuals have so much personal investment in their position, that the give it inappropriate importance and power. When an admin steps in (sometimes an admin is involved personally) to try to restore sanity, they are lashed out at, and receive a dose of venom. Walking thr line between being kind and being honest, is a tough one. This speel is leading to something, be patient a little longer.
When I was first made an admin, most other admins, spent most of their time visible. The term “smurf”, was in common usage. Being green (invisible) was used when we had to deal with trolls and predators, for the most part. Things have changed. Most admins are now green, most of the time I think. I do not know, with certainty, why that is. Each has their reason, I suppose, and I am not sure they are all aware that they have changed their habits as much as they have. I am also not sure, that each can really explain in a way that convinces me, why they have changed.
I have a theory (a theory is usually an idea that is ganged up upon, by a brutal set of facts). My theory, is that many of these admins are just plain tired. It is easier to observe than participate. My theory is, that some, are gun shy, the have taken too many poisoned darts. My theory, is that many, have done a good job, and are under attack in their daily lives for it. Some of you, think you want to be admins - think twice about it. Ask God, if that is where He wants you to be. If He does, God will raise you up.
In the meantime, be supportive of those He has already raised up. Thank them, give them a hug, a word of encouragement once in a while. Most of all, pray for them. To you admins: Treat the chatters`with respect, love them, for Christ died for them. To a degree, they are your charges, this place is for them, try to make it a good experience. When you are tired, return to the Source for your refreshing. Chatters and admins alike: You are family, if you are Christ’s, and equals in the Lord, keep that in mind, pray for one another.
Thank you for reading this far, hopefully, it will not be long, before a DIFFERANT admin, writes another blog. - Omegaman
